Distractions.

One of the hardest symptoms to deal with is my sleep disruption. I go days without sleeping and when I finally pass out the sleep isn't restful at all. This leads to a lot of Youtube browsing and reading up as much as I can about Dysautonomia.

The former reminds me how much I love the entertainment industry. Professional dance is out of the picture, in regards to dancing in a company, but the industry is literally exploding right now. Sound and music have always been one of my passions in life; my brother and sister and I were all heavily involved in music growing up. We sang in three part harmonies; nerdy sometimes, yes, but it made Christmas time so much fun! I was in audition only choirs from the age of nine all through high school. We all sang, played the piano and we each had our own second instrument. I still remember my brother's tuba case being bigger than me (I've never been a tall person. I was a preemie baby and I don't think I've grown a centimeter since the eight grade.). Another thing I found a love for was the changes in movement technology. While I was still a Dance major we worked with movement technology, and it's absolutely fascinating to me. One night when I couldn't sleep I watched a thing on the making of the last Harry Potter (told you I'm a nerd.) and I loved how they did the scene with the seven Harry's. My own experience with this work is really limited, but I'd love to learn more about how it all works. Even though I know I have a lot of work to do before I'm well enough to sink my teeth into starting a new career it helps that I have something to look forward to. Entertaining has always been a passion of mine and working in an industry where I can work with everything that interests me, and that is constantly shifting and evolving sounds like enough of a challenge to keep me happy. My not so inner nerd can play with historical events, writing, photography, sound, music, movement choreography and technology. It's something to keep my mind off of anything health related.

I just got a book called "POTS Together We Stand, Riding the Waves of Dysautonomia". I'm usually not at all interested in books that have encouraging little snippets from people who haven't had a sick day in their lives. This one's different. It addresses every aspect of the disease from people who have it and different stages of life; teen years, going to college, traveling with POTS, moms' points of view, that kind of thing. I couldn't sleep so I was reading and I want to share a quote just because it made me smile. This is from Chapter 8, discussing Dysautonomia and grief, written by Michelle Roger.

"I hate those saccharine sweet lines like 'When life gives you lemonade'. Do they realize the steps in making lemonade? First, get the energy to get up out of bed. Second, get the energy to care that you have to make lemonade. Third, try and find a recipe book. Fourth, get your brain together to remember why you have the recipe book. Fifth, grab a coffee to get your brain going. Sixth, forget the reason you had the recipe book out again and tidy up the kitchen. Seventh, remember something about lemons. Eighth, remember obscure fact that Liz Lemon is a character on 30 Rock, and sit down to watch taped program forgetting lemonade completely."

It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend at the law firm I worked at. He asked me, "How do you get by when life keeps chucking lemons at you?" My response? "Learn how to dodge."